Sweat: Blothches at the armpits are a blend of perspiration and deodorant. They form over time, and there's no quick fix. Keep your jacket on. Later: ask the cleaner to pretreat the area. And start wearing undershirts.

Lipstick: Better hope it's your wife or girlfriend's, because you'll probably be wearing it home. If you're desperate, gently rub the mark with soap and warm water. But beware: Yuou could rub the lipstick deeper into the shirt. Later: Turn it over to a professional cleaner. If necessary, call a divorce lawyer.

Ink: Don't even try to get this out yourself. You'll just make it worse. Later: Take it to the cleaner; he has an arsenal of chemicals that may help. Take the pen, too, so he'll know what type of ink he's dealing with.

Egg : Egg will set deeper into the fabric if you rinse it with hot water. (Hot water + protein = worse stain) Scrape away the excess egg, then rinse away as much as you can. Later: Wash it in cold water.

Unknown Stain: What the heck is that? Whatever it is, let it dry, scrape off anything that's dangling, then rub in some soap and room-temperature water. (Hot water sets some stains, cold water sets others.) Later: Soak it in a solution of 1/4 cup bleach and 2 quarts water. (If the garment isn't white, you'll need color-safe beach.) Then wash it in a warm-water cycle.